Nearly a year ago, my wife, son, and I moved out of our parents’ home to start a new chapter in our cozy little nest. Over the past year, our days have followed a structured but exhausting routine: waking up, preparing breakfast, dropping our son off at infant care, going to the gym, heading to the office, returning home to cook dinner, and splitting housework in the evening. After putting our son to bed, I was often too drained to do anything else. Weekends weren’t much better—mostly spent tackling chores like cleaning windows and managing weekly household tasks.
Everything changed when we learned we were expecting our second child. This prompted us to consider hiring a helper—a prospect we had previously avoided due to concerns about the costs involved.
The Costs of Hiring a Helper
After researching online and consulting friends, we discovered that onboarding a helper involved significant upfront and ongoing expenses. In addition to her basic living necessities, there were agent fees, government fees, and the cost of preparing her accommodations.
Despite our reservations, we decided to take the plunge and hired a helper in late December 2024. Two weeks into this new arrangement, here are my reflections on the process and its impact.
Here’s a breakdown of the upfront costs:
Agent and related mandatory fees: Approximately $2,800
Helper’s salary loan (7.5 months): $3,750
Household essentials (e.g., mattress, pillows, and other necessities): Around $500
Altogether, the onboarding process cost us close to $7,000. Although this amount was substantial, it included the helper’s salary for the first 7.5 months, meaning we wouldn’t need to pay her monthly wages during this period.
Ongoing expenses include daily meals and necessities. We ensure our helper has her portion of meals set aside first when dining at home, as we don’t believe in serving leftovers. Eating out costs an average of $7 to $15 per meal, depending on the venue. These expenses add up to about $400 per month, making the total monthly cost of having a helper approximately $1,000.
How Our Lives Have Changed
Since our helper’s arrival, we’ve delegated all household chores to her. While she handles cleaning and washing, my wife and I continue to care for our son unless necessary. This shift has been transformative—I now have more energy to focus at work and spend quality, undistracted time playing with my wife and son. Without mundane household tasks weighing on me, I feel much more present and engaged.
Evenings have become a revelation. Once our son falls asleep around 9 PM, I no longer face a mountain of unfinished housework. Instead, I feel surprisingly energized. However, this newfound freedom has left me somewhat disoriented—I often find myself aimlessly scrolling through my phone, unsure of how to use this reclaimed time.
The Next Step
With the reclaimed time and energy, I am planning to explore ways to generate additional income. My immediate goal is to cover the monthly cost of having the helper, which amounts to approximately $1,000. This will not only offset the financial burden but also make the decision to hire a helper even more sustainable in the long run.
By focusing on leveraging this newfound freedom effectively, I hope to create opportunities that bring both financial stability and personal growth.
Conclusion
Hiring a helper has been a considerable investment, but the benefits far outweigh the costs. Reclaiming time and energy has not only improved my quality of life but also allowed me to focus on what truly matters—spending meaningful moments with my family and exploring personal growth opportunities.While adjusting to this newfound freedom feels unfamiliar after a year of constant busyness, I’m optimistic about what lies ahead. With plans to use this time productively, starting with generating additional income to offset the cost of having a helper, I’m embracing this new chapter with an open mind and a sense of purpose.
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