After Chasing FIRE, I Realised I Lost Myself

A Pause That Triggered Reflection

Since December 2025, I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on my life ever since that massage session that I had during work hour.

Living Life on Autopilot

Looking back, I’ve realised that I’m not really living for myself. Instead, I’ve been living the life that society expects a “normal” person to live. At some point along the way, I decided that I should aim for FIRE. But now I’m questioning whether that’s truly what I want, or whether it was just another socially acceptable goal I latched onto.

The Honest Answer to the Money Question

People often ask: If money were no longer a concern, what would you do? If I’m being honest, my answer isn’t very exciting. I would probably spend my time taking care of my kids, and when they’re not around, I wouldn’t really do much else. Somewhere between work, family, and responsibilities, I’ve lost my hobbies and interests.

Why FIRE Isn’t the Solution

This seems to be a common issue among Singaporean dads. I used to believe that achieving FIRE would solve this, that once work was removed, I would somehow “find myself” again. But I now realise that FIRE alone won’t fix this emptiness. Even if I didn’t have to work anymore, my identity would simply shift from Employee, Father, Husband to just Father and Husband. The “me” still wouldn’t return.

An Uncomfortable but Necessary Realisation

That realisation was uncomfortable, but also important.

Starting Small with 25 Minutes a Day

So I decided to start small. From 1 January 2026, I forced myself to exercise for at least 25 minutes every day, even if it’s just slow jogging. This small pocket of “me” time has made a huge difference. Physically, I don’t see much change yet, but emotionally, I feel it. My mood is better. My mind feels lighter.

When Financial Wins Stop Feeling Like Wins

To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I truly laughed out of happiness. Even when my OCBC shares soared to $19, I didn’t feel joy, only questions: Is it time to sell? Can it go to $30? That moment made it clear that money alone no longer moves me the way it once did.

Reclaiming Myself, One Habit at a Time

This daily 25-minute routine feels like a good start. It’s not just about fitness, it’s about reclaiming myself, one small habit at a time. I plan to add more of these small pockets into my life, slowly rebuilding an identity beyond being just an employee, a husband, or a father.

More Than My Roles

I need to be more than my roles.
I need to eventually be myself again.

Comments

  1. Hello WorldJanuary 8, 2026 at 5:43 PM

    Congrats on starting an exercise routine. "Health is wealth" and a daily slow run is a great start to build up aerobic efficiency.
    Its ok if financial wins stop feeling like wins. I don't consider inevitable compounding that comes with 'time in market' as a win, but something to always be grateful for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SgHustleManJanuary 15, 2026 at 5:05 PM

      Yeah, i have somehow lost 1kg already after 2 weeks of constant exercise

      Delete

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