The Two Lives Men Live While Chasing Wealth

The Illusion That Money Will Fix Everything

I once wrote about how I lost myself while chasing FIRE (financial independence, retire early). Today, I want to talk about something even more important, mental health while chasing wealth.

Many people say, “You’re unhappy because you’re not rich enough.”

To a certain extent, that’s true. Money removes many forms of stress. If you had unlimited resources, life would be easier.

Imagine a simple family like mine, a wife and two children, but with unlimited money.

The day might look like this:

  • Wake up and send the kids to school

  • Go to the gym

  • Enjoy a slow coffee

  • Spend the afternoon on hobbies, or personal interests

  • Pick up the kids and give them your full attention

  • Still have energy and time for your wife

That sounds like a peaceful, happy family. And it could be, if money were just a tool.

But in reality, it rarely works that way.

When Wealth Becomes a Trap

What I’ve seen instead is this:
When a man becomes wealthy, he often wants more.

HDB becomes condo.
Condo becomes landed.
Toyota becomes BMW.
Then something better.

The lifestyle inflates. The pressure rises.
And slowly, the family starts to get neglected.

Some men I know are now living two lives:

  • One as a stressed husband and father, bringing money home but emotionally absent

  • Another as a “free man” in KTVs, drinking, hugging younger women, feeling desired again

They are not evil. They are tired, lonely, and mentally exhausted. But instead of fixing what’s broken, they escape.

The Two Lives of a Wealth-Chasing Man

I’ve sat with these friends and business partners during “business talks” that slowly turned into something else. The temptation is real.

The women are young.
They are attentive.
They don’t nag.
They make you feel important.

And for a moment, you feel alive again.

But then I think of my wife at home.
Yes, she scolds.
Yes, she gets angry.
But she also gave me two beautiful children.
She sacrificed her time, her body, and her youth for this family.

That matters more than any illusion.

Money Is Not the Problem, Desire Is!

The real problem is not money. It’s the endless hunger for more.

When we keep upgrading our lifestyle, money will never be enough.
Stress will never leave.
And peace will never arrive.

In Singapore, most people actually earn enough to live well, if they don’t inflate their desires.

We envy others because of what we see on social media.
Cars.
Condos.
Holidays.
But we don’t see the broken marriages, the loneliness, and the emotional emptiness behind them.

True Wealth Is Being at Peace

In the end, what we really want is not more money, it is peace.

Peace to enjoy our children.
Peace to love our spouse.
Peace to wake up without dread.
Peace to not need an escape.

Money can buy comfort.
But contentment is what creates happiness.

And contentment is something no amount of wealth can replace.

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